Krystal Savanella Designs free giveaway

Krystal Savanella Designs is having a free giveaway for September. And I waaaaant it. You should want it too. It's the softest, silkiest, most wonderful leopard print scarf you've ever dug your fingers into. Go check out their blog for details:

www.savanella.blogspot.com.

Do it do it do it!!!!

It's Joke Time

Eve, in the Garden of Eden, said, "God, I have a problem. It's a beautiful garden, but I'm lonely and sick of eating apples."
"Okay," God said. "I'll create a man for you."
Eve said, "What's a man?"
"He's a creature with aggressive tendencies and an enormous ego who doesn't listen and gets lost a lot, but he's big and strong, he can open jars and hunt animals, and he's fun in bed."
"Sounds great!" said Eve.
"There's just one thing. He's going to want to believe I made him first."

Jesus was walking through the streets, and he noticed a group of people throwing stones at an adulteress. He stopped and said to the crowd, "Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone." All of a sudden a huge stone came flying out of the crowd and hit the woman right on the head. Jesus stopped, taken aback, then looked up and said, "Mom...!"

Abraham decided to upgrade his PC to Vista and Isaac couldn't believe it. He said, "Dad, your old PC doesn't have enough memory."
Abraham replied, "My son, God will provide the RAM."

Why don't the Amish water-ski?
The horses would drown.

Alexander McQueen at the Met

This is one of the most fantastic things I have ever seen.

Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov!!!

The recent engagement of several friends has led to much "mazel tov!"ing around here, and it's got me thinking.

Mazel tov literally means "good luck" although we use it to say "congratulations!" At hearing of a birth or engagement, or at a bris, bar mitzvah, bat mitzvah, or wedding, you are bound to hear "mazel tov!" at least a thousand times. Listening in, you might think that something a little strange is happening. Sure, the guests say it to the wedding party, to the new mother, to the boy fresh from being called to the Torah, but they also say it to each other. Constantly. Women kiss each other, men shake hands, and everyone greets each other with, "mazel tov, mazel tov!" like it's going out of style. Even when we merely hear good news, we tell each other, "mazel tov!!"

"Did you hear the Horowitz's had their baby?"
"Mazel tov, mazel tov!!!"

What's up with mazel tov? Can you imagine people saying, "congratulations!" in the same way?

"Did you hear the Smith's had their baby?"
"oh, congratulations!"

Who are you congratulating? The bearer of the news didn't have the baby. And yet whenever there is a Jewish simcha (joyous occasion), we are congratulating each other left, right, and sideways. Why is this?

The answer is really simple. The greatest thing that the Jewish people have is their unity. Jews come from all over the world, speak different languages, have different customs, eat different food, even practice their religion in different ways. But despite being the most spread out people in the world, there is a bond between us that can not be broken or denied. Jews are all one people. One big family. What happens to one of us, happens to all.

And so when a baby is born, it's not just the new parents who ought to be congratulated. Every Jew celebrates the addition to our people, and so every Jew can be wished a, "mazel tov!" upon hearing the news. When a child comes of age and becomes an adult, when two Jews commit to creating a life together full of love, happiness, and Jewish children, it's truly something that every Jew can feel a personal joy in. We are not just guests at each happy event. We are all the guests of honor. We are the beaming father, the teary-eyed mother, the proud brothers and sisters. We're family.

So to my newly engaged friends, Mazel Tov. And to all of you, Mazel Tov.

Mazel tov, mazel tov!

Why haven't I called you back, you ask?

I've been getting complaints about my lack of availability, lack of socialness, lack of visibility, lack of returning calls/emails/texts/carrier pigeons. That has motivated me to write the most boring blog post ever-an overview of my weekly schedule. Now, I'm not making excuses, mind you. Just giving an explanation.

Mondays:

• Mornings are spent working on a project for my mom (archiving and typing up all of my late-great-uncle's poetry. There's a lot of it.)
• 1:30-leave house. Drive to valley
  
• 2:00-4:00- Tutor Shalhevet at Emek.
  
• 4:30-Arrive back at home. Eat something
• 5:15-leave to pick up Shalhevet and her sister from carpool, and take them home.
• 6:00-get back home, do a little more poetry work, or eat some more, or take a nap, or stare at the wall.
• 8:00-9:00- Argentine Tango class

Tuesdays:

• 7:45-Wake up
• 8:30-Leave the house
• 9:00-Arrive at Krystal Savanella Designs (fashion internship). Wake Krystal up. Play with the dog. Sew stuff. Work on google docs. Occasionally buy cans of soup. Sometimes drive to LA with Krystal. Listen to Cassie's stories. Sew some more. Copy some patterns. Chase the dog around the house. Resist the urge to clean Krystal's kitchen. Eat a turkey sandwich. Wish out loud for cookies.
  
• 4:00-leave Krystal's. Drive home.
• 4:45-Get home. Eat something, stare at wall, take a nap.
• 5:15- leave to pick up girls from carpool. Take them home. Tutor Shalhevet until we're done with homework, or we're both crying from frustration. That's usually around 8:00, at which point....
• 8:00- Meet Sarah at Borderline for salsa night. Dance until 10:30ish.
• 11:00-home, shower, go to bed at some point.

Wednesdays:

• 7:45-wake up.
• 8:30-Leave house.
• 9:00-Arrive at Krystal's.
• 12:30-Leave Krystal's. Drive home.
• 1:15-Arrive home.
• 1:30- Leave house. Drive to valley
• 2:00-Arrive at Emek, tutor Shalhevet
• 4:00-Leave Emek.
• 4:30-Arrive home.
  
• 5:15-Leave home. Pick up girls from carpool. Drop them off at home.
• 6:00-Arrive home. Have every intention of working on poetry or doing something else productive. Usually waste the entire night on facebook. Occasionally hang out with someone.
  

Thursdays:

• Morning: Work on poetry, or babysit.
• 1:30-Leave house. Drive to valley.
• 2:00-Arrive at Emek, tutor Shalhevet.
• 4:00-Leave Emek.
• 4:30-Arrive home. Pack.
• 5:50-Leave home. Drive up to Ventura.
• 6:30-Arrive at Sharon's. Babysit Jack. Spend the night.

Fridays:

• 8:00-Wake up at Sharon's.
• 9:00-Arrive at Krystal's. Full day.
• 3:00-Leave Krystal's.
• 3:45-Arrive home. Get ready for Shabbat.
• 5:00ish-Shabbat. RELAX!!!!

Saturdays:

• Shabbat. Go to temple, sometimes. More often, sleep until mid-afternoon.
• 6:00ish-Shabbat ends.
• Spend evening babysitting, staring at the wall, or hanging out with friends. Should do more of the latter.

Sundays:

• 2:15-4:15- West Coast Swing master class with Sonny Watson.
• Use the rest of the day to catch up on stuff for the week, or hang out with people. Or waste time on Facebook.

Salsa Diaries

Salsa night at Borderline. Trying to make it a regular thing. Last time had a BOMB dance night, tonight was medium. Had some good moments, had some awkward moments. I'd like to blame the partners, but I have things to work on as well.

Things to work on/learn:

• Spins. Tighter, faster, more controlled, less traveling.
• Less traveling in general. Need to take smaller steps, not run away from my partner, and end up where he puts me.
• Styling. *sigh* I hate styling. But I need some moves so when my #$%$^&%^ partner throws me out there, I have something to do.
• Dance softer: I don't want them to think they're dancing with a freight train.
  
• Dance harder: Don't be afraid to strut my stuff, and show off what moves I do have.

Pet peeves!

• MEN. WHO. TRY. TO. TEACH. YOU.
  
• Leaders who don't LEAD, just dance their own little funky dance the whole time and expect you to read their minds.
• Leads who don't even dance the dance you're supposed to be dancing.
• Leads who are doing their own thing to the point of having their own RHYTHM and expect you to follow it.
• Leads who won't dance down. I want to be challenged, but after I fail to follow your poorly led fancy-shmancy-quadruple-turn-twist-flip-thingy FOR THE THIRD TIME, you should PROBABLY not try to lead it again. For heaven's sake, be a courteous lead, find my level, and challenge me APPROPRIATELY. I'm not having fun when I can't keep up with your RIDICULOUS moves to the point that I'm falling over my own feet. I am not that bad of a dancer, not anymore. When you screw me up, I don't feel inferior anymore; I feel mad. And I'm not going to dance with you anymore. Butthead.

Tango Diaries 2, or, Pet Peeves

Notes for tonight:

• When doing forward ochos, knee-toe-heel-step, then move body weight. Don't lead with the head. Lead with the foot. Keeps the center of gravity in the middle.
• Keep knees together, collect feet together at end of ocho.
• When stepping over his leg, don't lift the foot and step. Drag it, knee first, over his foot, then PLACE it. Hold there, wait for the check.
• Before kicking, connect with his thigh. Then you'll know where his leg is. The kick should not connect with his leg-the connection is already there.

And some pet peeves!

• Young, male dance instructors. Who are taking the class as students. Who think they're all that, show off their moves (not very well, I might add) and flirt OUTRAGEOUSLY with all the older women. Oh my gosh, hello Ashton Kutcher. No, you're not attractive. Shoulder length hair looks greasy, not dashing.
• Leads who smile and nod condescendingly at you when you "do something right." Yeah, that step finally worked because I back-led you into doing it right.
• Leads who think they're teaching you and encourage, critique, and advise you through the dance. Pay attention to your own feet, you just stepped on mine, which is why I tripped. Numb nuts.

Tango Diaries

Notes from tonight's lesson.

-Always extend the leg as far as you can when stepping.
-Be grounded. No need to hold upper body so stiff.
-Don't tilt head like in standard. Look forward, balance will be better.
-Knee-toe-heel-body weight.
-Let the left arm rest on his. A little bit of pressure.

I'm taking an Argentine Tango class. Oh yes I am I am!!!!!! And the dance high is GRRRRRRRREAT!

.

I am a dancer

Not a good one.

Not a creative one.

But movement makes me happy, and music, and expression.

I'm not good at dance -yet- but dance is good at me.

Creative Fail

I think I've lost my creative ability.

My whole life I've loved crafting and sewing and creating. And what with the sewing and costume designing I did during high school, it was somewhat expected that I would go into fashion. Even though I chose to go to university rather than FIDM, I never intended to abandon the dream.

But the ugly truth is I just don't think I have it. I don't have what it takes. Oh, the desire is there. I have always wanted to create. I just have never been all that successful. There is an endless supply of books and bobbins and ribbon and fabric and tools in my room. But that's where it stops. I have half-solid ideas that never come to fruition. A few sketches I can't seem to do anything with. And every time I sit down and try to produce, it ends in frustration.

The list of skills I would like to have is endless. Sketching, painting, photography. Yet somehow I do not have what it takes to acquire those skills. That's probably my biggest fault. I am unable to reach out and try for what I want. It's not even a matter of trying and failing. I don't know how to start trying.

I have tried to ignore it, but the fact is that it's been years since I made anything, really. I think a lot about working on one of my many forgotten projects, but I can't remember the last time I actually did work on one. Tonight I finally forced myself (and really, I shouldn't have to force myself at all) to pull something out. I got all set up, spread the materials around me, tried to be excited, and found myself incredibly depressed instead and completely unable to work.

The worst feeling in the world is realizing you are not an artist, when for your whole life you banked on being one. I don't even know that I get any joy from designing anymore, since whenever I try I am so disheartened by the process.

I am not patient and never have been. I don't like things that don't come naturally to me (with the one exception of dance, and even that has its moments). I have not found what brings me peace and pleasure, and that's the real tragedy.

It really makes me panic sometimes, that I don't know what I like to do. Doesn't everyone know what they like to do? Ostensibly, I like to design and sew and knit and crochet, but in actuality, I can't convince myself to actually do it to save my life.

Identity crisis, much?